Our wedding venue sent us a glossy brochure in the mail. On page 41, an eloquent copywriter penned this comforting line about our venue’s white glove service:
Perfecting the little details that make up your big day — it’s our pleasure.
If I wrote the ad copy for our venue, then I might embellish that line with this flourish:
We delight in giving you the wrong reservations code (WEDD), so that you may have the pleasure of printing your wedding invitations not once, but twice.
Alternatively, I might spice things up with this racy prose:
With great pleasure, we scrambled your room reservations, so that the Groom may enjoy the company of the bride’s sister on the wedding night.
Finally, for our guests’ sake, I’d toss in this ditty:
You want a room? We have no record of that wedding whatsoever, so that you may have the pleasure of calling us back tomorrow. Hey, at least we got the phone number right this time!
They say that the best advertising reinforces the truth. But if I gave you the full list of of problems we have encountered with our venue, you probably wouldn’t believe me.
And therein lies the one bright spot. The shortcomings are so outlandish, they’re nearly comical. Which makes talking about the whole situation, a bit of guilty pleasure.
At your service,
GG
Tags: Grooms, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Weddings
this list really makes either living in sin or eloping very attractive offers
At minimum, every groom should take “conflict resolution” training to prepare themselves.
Truthfully though, this experience has been the exception. The planning process has bee a lot of fun and more than a few laughs 
That’s funny.
Years ago I was a bridesmaid in a catastrophe wedding. It took place at bride/groom’s home. And at the time the wedding was scheduled to begin, we bridesmaids were upstairs in a bedroom waiting for our dresses to arrive. That’s just one of the stories, too.
That was over 15 years ago; the couple are still living together, happily.
Wow Tatyana, that’s definitely down to the wire. We’re keeping our fingers crossed that all of our wedding stuff makes it safely across the country without getting lost or delayed. My mom’s apartment is doubling as our wedding storage locker. Regardless, I’m sure everything will work out fine. Besides, catastrophe + time = good comedy, right?
Great stuff as usual GG! Can’t believe my own wedding was just about 10 years ago. I remember some trials and tribulations, but nothing like what you’ve been through. Then again with a fiancee (now wife) was was a catering person / wedding planner, I was not allowed to have very much say in the process (even less than most grooms to be in fact). Probably smart on her part given a few of my early suggestions for the wedding and reception.
Thanks Rick! I can’t believe that your wedding was 10 years ago, either. Didn’t the Orange Crushers give you a Syracuse flag and a flagpole as a wedding gift? That probably wasn’t the most practical idea, now that I think about it
A set of Orange-themed bath towels might have been more appropriate.
GG,
Your tail of woe is way too familiar.
I am sorry.
I have photographed weddings for over 15 yrs, and have seen truly tragic things happen. The good news is that your “stuff” appears to be happening before hand…I hope that is a good omen.
Best Wishes…
Smiles!